Becoming Debt Free in 2009

December 5, 2008

GROW UP – Be responsible

Filed under: Random — ambercouric @ 10:15 am
Tags: ,

If you don’t want to read about my bad attitude today you may need to skip this post. 

I keep out of people’s personal stuff.  I prefer not to know details of friends or DH’s co-workers financial, romantic, or none of my business parts of their  life.  That’s why I blog so I have friends online that share this sort of stuff with.  Online we all ask for others’ ideas and we all learn from each other.  In life we tend to just want someone who is going to agree with us.

Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind being a caring friend and listening but if you just want to complain – truth is I don’t want to hear it.  I will gladly listen and even share what little I know.  So hear are a few things I’m tired of hearing!!!

1) My husband’s coworker married a man who was married before and is obligated to pay child support.  Every time I talk to her she is complaining about the child support.  HERE IS WHAT I WANT TO SAY – before you married this man he had three children.  Just because he decided to have an affair and leave his wife DOES NOT make him any less responsible for those three children.  Guess what you KNEW he paid child support before  you married him.  If those children lived with you it would cost a lot more.

2) Another coworker is constantly complaining about her student loans.  Sorry you have student loans.  You are the one who said that you used the excess to pay for that Ford Explorer out in the parking lot.  Didn’t you think you would have to pay for it at some point.  Also, if you would take the money that you eat BREAKFAST and LUNCH out everyday that just may be enough to cover your student loan payment.  I understand student loans are some times necessary but there is a difference in how much you need in student loans and how much you want.

3) To my friend who is now financed to the hilt because she and her husband decided to refinance a PAID FOR HOUSE -$300,000 to buy a boat (yes the EXPENSIVE kind with 3 sleeping quarters) and who continuously spends $50 – $100 per month on dog toys and who is now afraid of layoffs – STOP SPENDING MONEY.

I don’t give my opinion unless asked and unfortunately none of these people want my opinion that just want to complain or VENT. 

How do you handle people that you really just want to say GROW UP?  I am not perfect and made plenty of mistakes but I also never spent the majority of my time complaining to others.

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16 Comments »

  1. You have to right to vent just like everyone else. Sometimes I am good at keeping my mouth shut when co-workers act stupid and sometime I’m not so good. The best bet is just to walk away and let them be miserable. And be happy for how intelligent and wonderful you are.

    Comment by cheryl — December 5, 2008 @ 10:43 am

  2. My jaw literally dropped at #3! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! For a BOAT!

    WOW.

    Just WOW.

    Comment by frugal dreamer — December 5, 2008 @ 12:36 pm

  3. I had the EXACT same reaction as Frugal Dreamer for #3.

    You’ve asked a tough question – it’s really hard sometimes to keep your mouth shut when people complain about things. Like you, I don’t mind listening to people vent on occasion, but if it’s the SAME THING over and over, etc. I tune out in the end or just quit talking to that person.

    Sometimes you just have to stand by and watch people sink. It’s their lesson to learn, not yours. The harsh reality of overspending in an overspent economy.

    Comment by Annie — December 5, 2008 @ 1:00 pm

  4. I’d just tune them out and when they’re done say something like “oh that’s nice”. If they are people you care about then certainly make gentle suggestions on how to improve their situation, but for acquintances it’s not worth it. Some people just like to complain and blame everyone but themselves for their own situation.

    Comment by Miss M — December 5, 2008 @ 1:12 pm

  5. A boat?! Are they prepared to live on that boat if they can’t make the mortgage payment?

    It’s difficult sometimes to bite your tongue. I applaud your self-restraint.

    If they ask for your opinion, would you give it? I would, but I would try to sound non-judgemental.

    Comment by Money Minder — December 5, 2008 @ 2:56 pm

  6. Why complain and vent? don’t get frustrated, you’re smart with your money and won’t be making the same mistakes, learn from them.

    HS

    Comment by HS — December 5, 2008 @ 4:03 pm

  7. #1 bugged me. What does she want him to not take care of his responbilities! He has 3 kids and he has to pay. She knew that before she married him! And would you even want a man who didn’t take care of their responsiblities!

    #3, that is just plain insane! That is something for Suze Orman.

    I can understand your frustrations though; those situations would drive me nutty! I would steer clear from it as much as I could.

    Comment by Budget Mama — December 5, 2008 @ 4:51 pm

  8. You go girl!!! I would feel the same!

    We have a friend who continues to tell us she has no money for groceries, but is constantly telling us about new video games that she buys her ds weekly!

    I am with you!!! Good job with keeping to yourself until you get here online – that is what we are all here for 😉

    Comment by jpkittie — December 5, 2008 @ 5:27 pm

  9. Wow! To refinance a paid for house in this market. That’s crazy. I one of those people that don’t comment. People always do what they want to do.

    Comment by Mode Girl — December 5, 2008 @ 5:38 pm

  10. Ha! If you replace all the financial stuff with Christmas stuff, this is remarkably similar to a post I just wrote yesterday. 🙂

    It drives me nuts to see people older than me acting so selfishly, irresponsible and childish. Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is roll your eyes and wait for them to decide to grow up.

    Comment by Slinky — December 5, 2008 @ 6:08 pm

  11. LOL!

    Yes, I run on these rants at times, too. We as PF bloggers have learned to stop and take responsibility for ourselves; to not live in continuous denial.

    I hear people in the retail/grocery lines complain about money all the time and I just want to shout at them, “Stop the whining!”

    So, please debtfree2009… rant all you like, stand ontop of your mountain and virtually scream, “GROW UP!”.

    Have a wonderful weekend! 🙂

    Comment by Money Funk — December 5, 2008 @ 6:36 pm

  12. Oh dear… I’m one of those “kvetchers” who like to vent. Funny thing is maybe I have blunt friends because they slap me and tell me to stop whining. LOL.

    Comment by Shtinkykat — December 6, 2008 @ 12:51 am

  13. Hi there-It just makes you really wonder what a lot of peoples priorities really are? Do they only want to face up to their responsibilities when they hit a major life crisis, like a job loss or divorce? I too would feel dumbfounded by people like this!

    Comment by sharon rose — December 6, 2008 @ 3:53 am

  14. Thanks to all of you for letting me vent. I usually am pretty quite about things and my husband’s co-workers I don’t see but maybe once or twice a month. My friend we have this discussion a few times a week. Also, a year ago we were talking about retirement accounts. She told me her husband’s entire retirement was in one stock. I told her then that was RISKY but she insisted the company was great. Well, his stocks are one of the stocks that has gone down by 80%.

    Comment by ambercouric — December 6, 2008 @ 2:12 pm

  15. I love this post–I think your friend in #3 was my co-worker: a boat, BMW, private school educations for the kids, new clothes all the time, and complaining non-stop about how poor she was. Add to that the constant complaining about how terrible our health insurance was (which, by the way was 100% funded by our employer and was pretty much the creme de la creme of insurance. Now that I’m retired, I pay for far less comprehensive coverage because it is so darn expensive when you pay for it yourself–if you are even lucky enough to be able to get it! And for that I consider myself EXTREMELY lucky, nothing to complain about here.)

    Don’t you just wish you could haul off and tell them all what you typed here? I would never do it either . . .

    Comment by Retired Syd — December 7, 2008 @ 5:12 pm

  16. In my best passive aggressive voice I would reply “I know what you mean. You know what bugs me? When people complain about the financial situation they themselves created, and then don’t do anything to fix it!”

    :o)

    Comment by Krista — December 7, 2008 @ 5:31 pm


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